Have you ever been cruising down the highway and noticed a traffic delay on the other side? Cars beginning to pile up endlessly behind it. You look with pity at the oncoming cars. Poor, clueless souls have no idea what awaits them.
Many are oblivious to the overhead digital highway signs warning them of impending doom. Other drivers might see them, but don’t decide to act quickly enough to avoid becoming mired in time-eating frustration.
Those who heed the warning signs and take a detour might find it more time-consuming at first, but ultimately realize that taking the time to change direction puts them ahead in the end.
In the journey of motherhood, mentors are the flashing signs that warn you to change direction (some without even knowing it), even though leaving your current path feels a little frightening and unfamiliar.
But mentors aren’t going to shove you out of the driver’s seat, take the wheel and force you to take a more prudent path.
It is your responsibility to want to be mentored. When will you get to this place? Will you crash and burn? Will you be caught in soul-crushing frustration? Mama, if you’re smart (and we know you are) it has to be sooner than later. It’s better for everyone involved: your husband, yourself, not to mention your child(ren).
(Melinda) When my daughter was about three, I remember her correcting me about something I said or did. I can’t recall the specifics, but I remember my friend Amy, who was with me, taking me aside later and saying,”You cannot allow her to disrespect you in that way anymore. It is not her job to put you in your place.”
I remember saying, “Well, she was right.” And Amy said, “That doesn’t matter. You take that at three and you’re inviting more of it.”
Quite honestly, I thought she was being kind of uptight. And unnecessarily harsh. If I had had a little less pride and a tad more wisdom, I would have considered the respectful relationship she had with her four-year-old daughter. And I would have thought about the fact that she had another child that was several years older. Perhaps she knew a thing or two that I didn’t.
Trust me, her advice would have been much easier to implement at three than at 13.
In some cases, advice has to be seen and not heard.
(Kathy) “I just have so much laundry…I just can’t keep up with my laundry….Why do I have so much laundry?” To all the moms who had to listen to me say this over and over again, I’m sorry. I can recall so many people who said, “Why don’t you just do a little every day?'”
“Oh, that just won’t work for me,” I’d say. “I just can’t do it that way. I have to do it all at one time. It just wears me out. Woe is me,” I would whine.
Suddenly, I found myself sitting at my friend Claudia’s house observing something I’d never seen: small, sweet stacks of clothes on top of her dryer. They were so cute, like cupcakes.
Eureka! There it was! One Blessed Load……a day. That one load that everyone was talking about that I should do. I had to SEE how incredibly TINY it was, how minuscule compared to my 5 loads in one day.
If we open our eyes, ears and minds to the wisdom of others around us, we might have to take a detour from our ingrained thought and behavior patterns. A far preferable option to being stuck in endless frustration.