Over and over again, we have heard moms say they wish they had mentors or women they could go to for advice. Yet, both of us realize that we were given great advice on any given topic and refused to listen. It sometimes came back to haunt us years later.
So what makes someone teachable? What allows us to put our guard down and admit our need for advice?
Two words: Pain or Embarrassment. Harsh, but true. Unfortunately, our pride makes us so stubborn that we sometimes have to suffer in order to admit that we are inadequate.
In our last blog post, we talked about the importance of wise tour guides in mothering. A wise mother looks for them before she crashes into the iceberg. So how do you know when you spot one?
What qualities do they have?
1.) An admirable product. The “product” does not necessarily have to be the child. And we caution you to not judge the “child product” while it is still “in progress.” The product can be her ministry at church, how she keeps her home and/or the way she treats her husband. We should look for “products” that could enhance our mothering.
2.) A positive process. How is she making her “product”? If her kids are well-behaved, but she’s constantly yelling at them or belittling them in order to achieve compliance, she may not be a model you want to copy. However, maybe her child is struggling in some area(s), but her kind, consistent and firm manner in dealing with him or her inspires you.
3.) A solid reputation. How do others view her? Is she a gossip? Does she keep her word? Does she treat people well?
4.) A well-balanced life. She’s not a workaholic or a momaholic or a shopaholic. She lives her life in moderation, carefully prioritizing God, family, friends and community. She lives deliberately. When her world becomes chaotic, she knows how to filter out the things that don’t really matter.
5.) A genuine humility. She knows that her children’s accomplishments are not her accomplishments. She inspires and celebrates others’ talents and gifts, but does not take credit for them. She’s not flashy or self-seeking.
Finally, go with your “gut” (otherwise known as the Holy Spirit’s leading). If you have an uneasy feeling about someone — even someone who appears to “have it all together” — there’s usually a reason.
We know they’re hard to find. We’re here to help.
She must be well respected by everyone because of the good she has done. Has she brought up her children well? Has she been kind to strangers and Has she helped those who are in trouble? Has she always been ready to do good?
1 Timothy 5:10 (NLT)