She picks you up when you’re down. Good friends sense when you are under the weather, or not as bouncy as usual. They don’t blame you for your feelings. Rather, they affirm them — even if it means agreeing with you about something irrational. Maybe your three-year-old DOES have a conspiracy against you when it comes to potty training. Perhaps your teenager IS consciously plotting to age you by 30 years.
She hides your imperfections from the world. If you need someone to watch your back, she’s there. This may sometimes mean sticking up for you or singing your praises to others. She doesn’t hesitate to tidy up your living room if she knows you are about to have surprise company.
She helps you feel secure enough to dance spontaneously and with abandon. Security lies in the face that you won’t be judged. All of your spontaneous thoughts or actions are accepted and, dare we say, celebrated. She won’t even let you know how badly you dance in public. Instead, she turns up the music and smiles.
She provides shock-absorbing for bumpy roads. She’s the voice of reason and rationality when your parenting world is spinning out of control. She has the ability to handle “freak out” mommy moments without freaking out herself. She makes you feel calmer and more empowered, even if she can’t retrieve the hairbrush your two-year-old just flushed down the toilet.
She’s stretchy and flexible. That doesn’t mean undependable or flaky. Her principles and commitment to friendship don’t change. But she understands that a mom doesn’t know what a day will bring. She knows that a sick child takes priority over a girlfriend lunch — and doesn’t hold it against you.
She always provides two cups. Two cups of refreshment are always better than one. Love, affection and attention is offered liberally and without reservation.
She protects your most vulnerable parts. She knows the weakest parts of you and doesn’t poke them with a stick like your most difficult children.
She doesn’t require perfection of you to be effective. She accepts you for who you are, not what you can do for her. No backscratching required.
She knows when you need time apart. We all need our space sometimes. Your children may not understand this concept, but she does.