Last week, I had to go to the dentist for a jaw bone graft. Wishin’ you were me, aren’t ya? I wanted to forget I was me as much as humanly possible during this horrifying, bone-crushing (literally) experience. Thus my request for a generous dose of Halcion.
After a bit of pill-popping and several large shots of Novocaine, I was in my happy place.
Although much of the experience is hazy (thank you, Jesus), I do remember getting out of the chair to leave when the dentist asked me, “How are you doing?”
Me: I’m already feeling pain. That isn’t good, is it?
He immediately had me sit back down and gave me more shots of mouth-numbing nirvana.
When they wheeled me out of the office, I was flying high and feeling good.
Popped a pain pill when I got home, hopped into bed and dropped off to La-La Land.
I woke up without pain. Then it hit me: A tidal wave of nausea that nearly took my breath away. Hmmm… I guess that cocktail of Halcion, Hydrocodone and Novocaine on an empty stomach wasn’t such a brilliant idea after all.
Yep, “too much” isn’t good when it comes to narcotics. And it’s not such a great concept when it comes to mothering, either.
Here are the Top Five “Too Much” Traps I struggle with in mothering:
1.) Too much unstructured time. Kids need down time. But “too much” unstructured time and everything spirals out of control. Cries of “I’m bored” and demands for more media time dominate the conversation. Sibling smack-downs serve as entertainment. Blood is shed. It’s not pretty.
2.) Too much help. I blogged about this a few weeks ago and again last week. My people-pleasing tendencies can tip my genuine love for doing things for my children into unhealthy territory. It’s led to questions like these at my house: “Mom, I can’t work the pizza cutter. Can you do it? (at age 15!)” and “How do you turn on the oven? (at age 12!)” Yikes. I’m turning the tide, but it would have been a lot easier five or 10 years ago.
3.) Too much media. Texting. Facebook. Xbox. Twitter. Instagram. The heartbeat of the teenage world. But “too much” yields bad things: Girl drama, not enough emphasis on school work, the list goes on. It can become “too much” for me, too. If I expect them to limit their time on Facebook, then I need to set the example. Workin’ on that.
4.) Too much fear. Parenting out of fear can make me too rigid and harsh. Or too lenient and permissive. It’s based on anxiety about what I think might happen or who my children might become — instead of what is right and appropriate based on the facts I know now.
5.) Too much rushing. It’s not a good feeling — for us or our kids. I’ve cut out a lot of the activities that compound the craziness. I’m trying to build “margin” into our schedule. After all, we can’t really be five places within an hour now can we?
In what areas do you think you’re giving your kids “too much”?
James 1:5 (HCSB) Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticizing, and it will be given to him.