“You have really messed up the kids now,” I heard someone say. “You are just so bad at this mothering thing. Look at you. Did you honestly think this was a good idea?”
The voice seemed harsh, but familiar.
Whatever I did must be terrible? They are probably screwed up for life. Yep, I really did it this time…
“What have you done? You idiot! Can’t you do anything right?” the voice continues,” Just look at THAT! Yes, THAT. You should have known better.”
I said, “Who the heck is this? How did you get my cell number…How–”
“You should just give up this whole Mommy thing. Someone else can do this better than you. Can’t you see her? She’s smarter than you any day of the week. Just let her do it. Not you,” the voice said growing stronger.
“Umm. I don’t know who you are, but I am not listening to this any longer,” I said.
Before my finger hit the END button, the voice finally registered in my mind.
It was mine.
My phone rings again. This time displaying “J.C.”
It can’t be me again…..Ok, I’ll answer.
“You are really trying the best you can with your kids. You have learned what your weaknesses are and allowed Me to make them into strengths. I’m so glad that you decided to answer this call.”
The sweet sound on the other side reminded me of the voice I hear in the quiet of my heart. The One who knows me. The One who loves me.
“Forgiveness is always yours for the asking. I want you to be close to me, to seek me when you need something.”
“What about THAT?…” I asked.
“I took care of THAT. You learned from THAT, didn’t you? Have faith that I designed you to depend on me, not yourself. Please forgive yourself. I have,” He gently reminded me. “I chose you for these beautiful children. I want you to mother them — with My help.”
“Thanks,” I whispered. “I’m glad I answered.”
He added, “Don’t listen again unless you recognize that it is Me.”
That other number…….is blocked now……by a very large, wooden cross.
“I have called upon You, for You will answer me, O God; Incline Your ear to me, hear my speech.” Psalm 17:6
“For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps.” I Peter 2:20-22
How can we make sure we are listening to God’s voice?
When we mess up, how can we rely on God’s grace to help us forgive ourselves as much as He forgives us?
Are we ready to “block the number” of negative voices around us?