Even at 42, I can be closely attached to mine. I want my mom when I am super tired, upset or hungry. It doesn’t surprise me that Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon share the same sort of concept of vulnerability. They refer to it as H.A.L.T–Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired. Our guard is down, our strength is gone and we can make a number of different choices, healthy and unhealthy.
When we are sick–Our mothers listen to our whining without judgement. It can be a cold or major surgery, but her voice sounds equally as concerned.
When we are hurt–We need them to tell us everything is going to be OK. I notice that our most recent conversations have been her consoling me after my feelings have been hurt by my older children.
When we are worn out–Again, more whining that she somehow can handle, but with sympathy and usually a swift kick in the rear end to get me moving again.
It is precisely those times when my children seem to want me as well. I tend to focus too long on the “Hungry” part of vulnerability; I have actually soothed many a savage beast of an adolescent boy with food. Some may call it manipulation. I call it efficient use of chocolate chip cookies, peach cobbler, and casseroles.
Their overwhelming need for snuggling when they were infants and toddlers calmed any chaos in their lives. I didn’t mind; I felt like I could be doing nothing more important with my time. I still melt into my own mom’s arms whenever I get the chance. Just the smell of her hair on her pillow used to soothe me as a child, and I still love jumping in her big bed when I visit to do the same.
Some things in life should stay the same. Namely, our mother’s love for us. Day in and day out, we can count on her to just BE THERE. As a mom, I can get overwhelmed with 4 kids’ versions of “I need ____________,” at any given time. Their desires change so much from year to year.
Despite quite a bit of turmoil, my mother did a remarkable job of being a constant, soothing source of comfort.
Our Father can do the same for us, even when our moms are not around. He provides the solace and comfort we need by showing love for us on a daily basis.
“As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; And you will be comforted in Jerusalem.” Isaiah 66:13
How can we as Moms just BE THERE for our children?
When do your children want you to mother them the most? The least?
What keeps you comforted as a mother?