by Chris Carter, The Mom Cafe, Regular MOMtor Contributor
I believe that parenting a child brings us to the end of ourselves.
From the moment of conception, we realize that this creation we hold is so much bigger and greater than anything we can manage alone.
From the moment I was giving birth, my dear husband was by my side and we were in a panic of crisis as the Doctor told us he couldn’t promise us our baby was okay. My husband was desperately trying to calm me down, while I cried in labor and in fear. I looked deep into his eyes with complete anguish pleading for him to pray, NOW. And he did. That truly was the moment I remember most in the entire birth of my baby.
That prayer. Pleading. Powerful.
That was the pivotal moment of total desperation, where I found myself at the end of who I was and the beginning of total dependence on God.
And from that day forward, through each trial and challenge, through every turn and diagnosis, every sleepless long night and exhausting day of sickness and doctors and hospital stays…no Doctor could help her, try as they may. No specialist had answers, and no healing was happening for years.
I had constantly begged for His Direction, His Comfort, His Peace, and His Power. He alone was my sustenance. He alone was my lifeline.
My very existence was empty of anything in my heart, but survival. And when a mother lives in a chronic state of trauma, the only choice she has is to give it all…
to Him.
God has a way of entering in, when we are forced to make space for Him. When we have exhausted all means of living, we reach out to the One who created us and reigns over Heaven and earth. I can’t tell you how many times I was terrified and drowning… in the constant battle between holding on to myself, and letting go to Him.
If you haven’t, then you are blessed! But truly, if you haven’t I pray that when there comes a time when you reach the end of yourselves in your motherhood journey…
You find Him.
I have yet to meet a mother who hasn’t fallen to her knees in a deep passionate cry for her child at some point in her parenting journey. Whether it be sickness, addiction, or perhaps a choice a child has made that went wayward. Parenting does that, at some time in our journey. We will find ourselves out of our own control. And when that happens…
Look for Him and hold on tight.
As we endure and often celebrate the moments that bring us to our knees in deep gratitude or desperate pleading, our faith becomes a lifeline.
There is a constant tug that we feel in those critical moments of questioning or overwhelming joy in the wonder of it all. And although I spent nine years in constant turmoil, desperately trying to heal my child, I realized an amazing and passionate faith that was also born on the same day my precious daughter came into this world.
This faith could never have been built on my own strength and power. This faith was created through sacrifice and surrender of a mother who forfeited her own will and opened her heart and her life to His.
I am so blessed to have this constant reminder that He is here in my every day, every moment, and every decision for my children. I look back on those blurry endless days and nights, and I see Him carefully placing trust in my weary heart. There is no greater peace than having faith that whatever happens with our children, we will trust in His Plan and Purpose for our lives.
Find your Lifeline, ladies. It’s the only one you will ever need.
Before having children, Chris Carter worked as a music therapist for several years in Chicago’s inpatient psychiatric hospitals. She also managed creative arts and recreation programming for four group homes. In that time of her life, she learned and grew to know the pain and suffering of so many people. She is now a stay-at-home mom and currently spends her days running kids to and from school four times a day, volunteering and keeping the house in some sort of order! She has a thriving blog, The Mom Cafe, where she regularly shares her mothering experience and wisdom.
Yet another great post my friend! Yes Chris…only when we’ve come to the end of ourselves is when we find out He is MORE THAN ENOUGH!! Mothering is probably the most exhausting , yet rewarding jobs we could ever have! Thank God, in the end….all the crying, all the pleading, all the praying and all the sleepless nights…will be worth it! Thanks for sharing my sweet friend! Have a blessed rest of your weekend!! xoxoxo
Michell recently posted..Michell’s Weekly Pearl
I have grown more as a mom than the 35 years I lived before I had mine! It’s amazing the incredible journey you go on with children… oh how grateful I have God with me in it! XOXO
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Find The Light in Empowerment
Such a powerful piece —
He will always find his way in, if we let him.
Thank you so much Christina! You said it beautifully- He will always find His way in- if we LET Him. Amen to that! XO
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Find The Light in Empowerment
Beautiful post from an extraordinary lady! I’m missing my lifeline these days. My mom used to be it, but she has reached a point where she needs to care for herself before anyone else.
You have an amazing gift!
Crystal recently posted..My Favorite Pins of the Week: Best of the Lady Bloggers
Thanks SO much for stopping by and reading this Crystal!! I am truly grateful. Your encouragement means the world to me….
Faith will take care of you my friend… God is always strong enough to be your lifeline!! Truly.
But you are blessed to have such a wonderful mom to be your beautiful lifeline for much of your life!! 🙂
Chris Carter recently posted..Divorce Is Devastating…
So powerful, Chris. I remember when my son put his arm through a plate glass window. The blood poured everywhere, and I needed a lifeline then just to keep calm. Luckily, though the gash was large, it was only 7 big stitches. I am thankful this is the worst thing that has happened that required a hospital! But I know I have a lifeline if I need one.
another jennifer recently posted..A Coast Encounter of the Maine Tide
Yes Jen! In that moment when your sweetie pie gashed his arm, wasn’t it crucial that you had Him to embrace? Oh, those are the moments we surrender it all… but He truly wants more than that. He wants us to open all of our life to Him- not just the traumatic events and crisis’s. I almost feel it’s easier to truly connect with Him during those moments of struggle and anguish, and yet- He wants us in the joy and laughter too! Every detail of our lives given to Him. I know that may sound uncomfortable, but oh how lovely it is to have your Creator as your BFF! I can’t think of a better bestie than the one who knows me best. 🙂
Chris Carter recently posted..Find Your Lifeline-Your faith
This is so on point. I don’t have kids, but my devotional reading today focused on full dependence on Jesus, not only when things are going well, but during challenges and perceived failures. His are truly the only footsteps we see on the sand!
Alison Hector recently posted..King
There are so many opportunities that life offers us both filled with joy and unfortunately filled with anguish- where we need to allow God to take over. BUT He reminds us daily, that it is every single moment that we must surrender to Him. And in doing so, His Plan and His Purpose takes place.
Those tragic times are often the moments we realize how deeply lost we are without him. I know I see His footsteps all over the sands of my life Alison!! 🙂
Chris Carter recently posted..Find Your Lifeline-Your faith
Motherhood has brought me to the end in more ways than one. I love how you frame this in a way that we can look at our roles as parents to invite faith and surrender. Such a beautiful post Chris – with so much wisdom!
Ilene recently posted..Jersey Girls Don’t Pump Gas
I just love how you open your heart and find your truth that resonates in your own life Ilene! You are such a dear to stop by and read this post! I always love your encouraging words. SO grateful my sweetie pie friend!! I just love you so much… XOXO
Chris Carter recently posted..Find Your Lifeline-Your faith
The only life line I have. He has been the reason I have kept on in every area of my life. He is a present help and the most capable there is! Thanks for sharing.
Ugochi recently posted..Telling Family
AMEN to that Ugochi!!! I love reading your powerful words and learning of your deep and abiding faith!!! SO beautiful. God bless YOU! XO
Chris Carter recently posted..Find Your Lifeline-Your faith
Wow! Words of great wisdom Christine Carter! I admire the strength of your faith in the depths of what must have been dire circumstances. Love this post!
Marcia recently posted..Getting Back on Track
Thank you SO much dear friend!!! And for you… He will be your lifeline. May you feel His Presence and His Power in your circumstance, and may He fill you with His Strength my love. I love you. XO
Chris Carter recently posted..Find Your Lifeline-Your faith
“I have yet to meet a mother who hasn’t fallen to her knees in a deep passionate cry for her child at some point in her parenting journey.” Oh, this is truth.
The stakes are so high and our little ones are so precious. I don’t know how people cope if they don’t have His comfort and guidance on the journey. I really, really don’t. Just the thought makes me feel completely overwhelmed. –Lisa
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I absolutely LOVE your comment Lisa!!!! AMEN to your precious words and thank God we have Him in our motherhood journey- always. It is with a grasp of deep desperation sometimes- and I pray all moms can find His Presence within their passionate love for their children!!
Chris Carter recently posted..Find Your Lifeline-Your faith
Thank you for the tears tonight. And the tug on my heart to redirect me. It was just what I needed.
Thank you for opening your heart and sharing you blessings with us.
And I love the new background on this blog.
misssrobin recently posted..Questioning in the Church
I am SO glad you stopped by to get your fill of Him and His Hope for YOU, sweet friend!! I am praying for you right now. Your faith is beautiful. “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me”. Always remember that- He is with you. Always. Hold on to your lifeline!
Chris Carter recently posted..Find Your Lifeline-Your faith
“I have yet to meet a mother who hasn’t fallen to her knees in a deep passionate cry for her child at some point in her parenting journey.” I could not agree more. I don’t know how people do it without having some kind of faith to hang on to. I am so grateful that I have a strong belief in the power of prayer. How could I ever do it on my own? You are such a beautiful writer and inspired woman! xo
Leah recently posted..More Beaching
Oh thank you from the bottom of my heart, Leah!!! I am so grateful for your encouraging words!!
I can’t imagine a life without holding on to a Heavenly Father. Oh, how long to reach those broken hearts that don’t know Him. I can only imagine how difficult, lonely and hopeless it would be.
He is desperate to care for His children!! I pray He can use all of us to reach them. XO
Chris Carter recently posted..Find Your Lifeline-Your faith
So lovely! What an encouraging and painfully simple post on purpose. I am saving this–for myself and others when most needed. Thank you!
Thank you so much Karmen!! It truly is most needed for all of those moms who don’t have a “Lifeline” in Him. I pray this reaches those who need to read it and it leads them to invite Him into their lives!! XO
Chris Carter recently posted..Find Your Lifeline-Your faith
Just beautiful Chris! You have an amazing gift. When my son was little,we went through a period of time where he would stop breathing and pass out constantly. I have never been so scared in my life. Every time it happened, I thought we were going to lose him. I prayed constantly. Today he is a healthy preteen and I thank my lucky stars every day.
Michelle recently posted..Ask Away Friday with Brittnei from HomeMaking with Style
Oh Michelle! What a terrifying experience you had with your son!! THOSE are the moments I am talking about! Those desperate pleads and prayers are the moments He longs for, in hopes we will open our hearts and trust in Him. Don’t thank your “lucky stars” my friend, thank Him!! I am so relieved everything was okay. How awful to live that fear…I am so glad you held on to the One who knows you and your precious child best!!
XOXO
Chris Carter recently posted..Find Your Lifeline-Your faith
Wiping tears away. So awesome to find you, Chris, here at this special site. I come to both of your blogs for stories and wisdom and humor. I cannot tell you how deeply I prayed when my son was in the NICU. I think most of my loved ones prayed, and we are not all religious, but we came together for this.
My son is fine, by the way. A misdiagnosed little infection.
Tamara recently posted..Bust a Move.
Oh thank GOD your son was okay, Tamara!!! I absolutely love that you and your loved ones drew near to your Heavenly Father during that horrible and terrifying time!
Do you know how much I love that you open your heart to my words, my stories and our God?? Oh Tamara, how I love that!! I can tell your heart is so precious and deep in love and richness of all that is good and worthy of Him. Thank you my friend, truly. For you are beautiful.
You are a blessing to me, more than you know!!
Chris Carter recently posted..Find Your Lifeline-Your faith
What a powerful post! There is a quote by Patrick Overton that I just love that suits this perfectly. It goes, “When you come to the edge of all the light that you have, and must take a step into the darkness of the unknown, believe that one of two things will happen to you: Either there will be something solid for you to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.” God is there waiting to be your something solid or to give you wings, but either way He is there. We ought not be afraid because of that truth, and it never ceases to amaze me!
Julie Moore recently posted..The Back-To-School Link-Up {Day 2}: Christy’s “Additive-Free” Lunch Box Ideas for Kids {Post Highlight}
OH HOW I LOVE THAT QUOTE!!!! And I just love how you framed it so beautifully Julie!!! Your comment is just so SO powerful. Thank you for blessing ME today, my friend!!! 🙂 You words are always full of a powerful purpose…
Chris Carter recently posted..Find Your Lifeline-Your faith
Happy to do so! 🙂 I just love that quote and had to share! It’s been a blessing to me on so many occasions!
Julie Moore recently posted..The Back-To-School Link-Up {Day 3}: Cindy’s Back-To-School Tip: Medical Alert Wristbands {Guest Post}
sniffles….wipes my tears away…what a great post.
Yes, what a beautiful miracle God has given all of us. I was lucky to have seen my son as a three-day old embryo during our IVF process. I prayed so many times and for so many years…each kick, flutter, pregnancy pain, emergency labor/c-section and post labor infections were all worth it…I got my miracle and reminder that God is with us. Dino has such blessed soul, what a joy.
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Oh how I love your precious and powerful story Karen!! Wow. Dino is truly a miracle!!! And I am so grateful God blessed you with him!!! What a beautiful reminder that God truly is with you. I am so glad you shared your story. It’s amazing how deeply our faith dives when we are at the end of ourselves and dependent on Him, isn’t it? I believe that’s where He longs for us to be- always.
Chris Carter recently posted..Find Your Lifeline-Your faith