That fact never stopped me from dreaming about “alone time”.
I thought, “If only I had some alone time…I would be more peaceful, more productive…..a better mother.”
Alone time for me became like Kansas for Dorothy. Everything would be fine, if I could just get there.
How many times have we all said this in our heads….or out loud.
A long time ago I got my wish.
And there were no ruby slippers involved.
What was Kansas like? Indeed, it was a bit like the black and white parts of The Wizard Of Oz. Ok, but so much better when the bright colors of life were added.
I was alone. All alone. No kids for 10 days.
Be jealous for about 30 seconds. Ok. That’s enough.
My oldest son was in England. My other three were in what I am affectionately calling “Mema and PopPop Key West Camp”. There is a family tradition of going to the Florida Keys during the summer. Even though I’ve been part of this family for over 20 years, it’s still not my idea of a good time. My children, however, LOVE fishing, diving and sunning.
They were all to willing to keep the pale-faced, pukey whiner (that would be me) out of their fun.
For me, my mother-in-law, Maxine, and my father-in-law, Steve, it was a win-win. They got my kids. I got time alone with my husband.
Our alone time revealed that, without kids, life is pretty black and white.
I work from home, in the home, and around the home — with them usually here. Everytime I picked up one of their shoes or toys, they were here, yet not HERE.
Our house seemed to shut down mid-production, frozen in a moment of time. At a snail’s pace, I cleaned room after kidless room. I noticed things that I hadn’t before. One is addicted to blankets. One likes their music by the bedside. Another prefers it across the room. I found writings of all sorts: notes, song lyrics and old test papers. All of which provided evidence of them, but was not THEM.
I realized that my world without them would not be careless and frivolous, but rather lonely and silent. Children influence our lives by their very presence. They enhance our existence by existing through us, then with us.
Ok. I have to admit. It was nice to wake up to the same food that I left in the refrigerator the night before. (Those with teenage boys will understand) And, having complete conversations with my husband — with complete sentences — was novel.
But, it was dull. Boring. It was just a shadow of what my life is with all of them around.
Christ’s existence is also extended through us, even though we only see His shadow. He doesn’t want us living in black and white. He wants us living in color. His color.
His life lives. (Matthew 26:28, 18:20) So should ours.
Do you feel blessed to be alone sometimes?
How does alone time change your perspective on mothering?
What are some ways in which we influence the world by having children?