by Chris Carter, Regular MOMtor Contributor
As each year passes, I find myself being more diligent with my giving. My kids are older and their wishes from “Santa” and mom and dad are devastatingly more expensive.
Back when they were little ones, it was easy to drench them with toys by making a killing at the second hand stores. But now, they are too old for that nonsense. They want the big stuff. They are also well aware that the big stuff is simply that:
Stuff.
They have learned the art of discernment, when it comes to spending. I’m a stickler for it. They have taken in every shopping trip and coupon used, every choice I have made that speaks “mindful money management”. And they are learning how to make good choices. I am proud of this lesson they learn as they grow.
When my kids have a few bucks to spend, they walk into a store and with the spirit of a child, they grab and squeal and embrace the impulse of desire. BUT. Then they carefully think through the cost.
The cost.
What is the cost of this thing I want? Is it really worth it? Will it be valuable to me for a long time, or just for a moment? Am I willing to let go of my money for this?
They often put it back. Over and over again. I watch them go through the process of discernment. I have helped them along the way, walking them through this process with suggestions and gentle nudges. It pleases me more than anything, to see the values of money resonate in their little lives this early. I pray it continues.
With Christmas around the corner, there comes an entirely new level of mindful money management! There is a sense of entitlement that all children have during this festive time. We all have good ol’ Saint Nick to thank for that. Much like the Tooth Fairy, there is a prolific comparison out there amongst the young spirits, when it comes to what magical goods they receive. THIS is where I will make my declaration to my children:
“Santa is mindful too.”
Santa can choose wisely, his lot to give. He can discern what each child should have according to their life, and their way of living it. Santa is careful in making sure he respects the standards of each home and the purpose of his gifts…
To bring joy. Not plenty.
Santa knows the heart of each child. Therefore, he will honor it by bringing gifts that are in line with the child’s long taught, hard earned values. Santa will carefully select the gifts that will please both the child and the parents, and establish unity within the family morals. My kids want all kinds of stuff, but they also know better.
In our home, Santa will have character. And he will be lifted up high not because of his goods, but because of his giving. Not because of all that he provides, but more in how he shares his provisions.
Santa my friends, can be used for good. Not for goods.
May Santa respect and reflect your family’s values and virtues this Holiday Season~
Ho Ho Ho! Merry Mindful Christmas!
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Before having children, Chris Carter worked as a music therapist for several years in Chicago’s inpatient psychiatric hospitals. She also managed creative arts and recreation programming for four group homes. In that time of her life, she learned and grew to know the pain and suffering of so many people. She is now a stay-at-home mom and currently spends her days running kids to and from school four times a day, volunteering and keeping the house in some sort of order! She has a thriving blog, The Mom Cafe, where she regularly shares her mothering experience and wisdom.
I’ve heard so many say they don’t do Santa because they want to keep their children mindful of the season. What a beautiful post of a different view into Santa!
I think Christmas without Santa is like tea without honey… there is sweetness in it, and if you are mindful about it, then Santa can bring so much joy!
Chris Carter recently posted..Pause and Pray…
My son doesn’t yet understand Santa, but when he’s ready, I am SO with you on “My kids want all kinds of stuff, but they also know better.” I hope. Lovely, amazing thoughts as always my friend, and though I’m sure to see you around bedore the day, a Merry, Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Kristi Campbell recently posted..This holiday season, I will be a better me
Oh I bet you will have a mindful boy too as he grows older, Kristi!! Thank you for your sweet encouragement, my friend!! Merry merry Christmas to you too sweetie!!! XOXO
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Joy Comes In The Morning
I struggle to give my kids this image of Santa and Christmas. Part of me feels bad for not getting them every single thing on their wishlists, but the bigger part of me realizes that I am giving them so much more by NOT giving them everything.
Rabia @TheLiebers recently posted..Ask Away Friday with Melissa from Home on Deranged
AMEN to THAT Rabia!!! It IS so hard to not give them all they want! But we will teach them so much more by doing what we are doing… and that is most important. 🙂
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Joy Comes In The Morning
“And although Santa is not a religious character, in our home he will have character.” Amen, Amen, Amen. Such a perfect reminder and a perfect goal. Thank you for bringing the class to this season!
Meredith recently posted..Antics and Answers Delivered!
AW! Thank you for being such a dear sister and friend to me, Meredith!! We need to make sure we can uphold our Christian values while celebrating the fun magical side of Christmas as well… Oh how this is true! XOXO
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Joy Comes In The Morning
So good! It is such a gift to teach our children the value of money and the value of values and character! I love that you have brought a deeper meaning to Santa for your family!
Leah recently posted..It’s a Wonderful Life
Yes! The value of our “goods” is something we need to teach our children about every day- but Christmas is the perfect time to really leave that imprint on their hearts of what is the measurement of our joy… stuff? No. I pray it continues…
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Joy Comes In The Morning
Teaching our kids the value of money and making smart decisions about it is one of the greatest practical gifts we can give them. Santa should be more than a jolly man with a bag of presents, and it is up to each family to decide what that is. Great post Chris!
Dana recently posted..The time I was in a Christmas flash mob
I would much rather my kids learned the values of managing money than having any toy they want. And Santa can be misleading… I refuse to let that happen. He can still be a good character in our home!
If we teach them right. 🙂
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Joy Comes In The Morning
I love this post. I used to tell my kids that Santa consults with Mommy and Daddy and we together we all make a decision. Santa or whatever character we choose to invite into our home must, as you said, have character and reflect the values of the household. There are so many “tweetable” phrases in this post. Love it Chris!
Hope recently posted..The Space Race Recap
AW! Thanks so much Hope! I know you get this- and you said it perfectly…. ANY character we choose to invite into our home must reflect the values of our household. LOVE that. So true, my friend.
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Joy Comes In The Morning
Amen! Finally a decent defense of Santa. I’ve heard so many people say they don’t do Santa because its all about the stuff. Not true. I like what you said here, and I will be referring nay sayers to this post!
MUAH!
Hillary recently posted..Let’s Fund An International AdoptionDec 12th
Thanks so much Hillary!! We can use anything to teach our kids values… and Santa is a perfect and powerful ‘tool’ to do just that. 🙂 Send those nay-sayers over!!
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Joy Comes In The Morning
What a great twist on Santa. This is what the true spirit of Christmas and Santa is really about…giving of ourselves to those we love and those less fortunate…selflessly. Over the years our culture and economy has turned it into a glutinous and selfish holiday. There are teachable moments all through out the season. I really believe that kids can appreciate what they receive so much more when they take time to serve others. Love you and your insightful words!
Stephanie @ Hugs, Kisses and Snot recently posted..The Second Candle of Advent is Peace
AW! Thanks SO much Stephanie! It’s all in how we present it and teach it to our children. There ARE so many teachable moments in this season! And while our kids are still young, we have a critical role in leaving a lasting imprint of our values on them-in hopes they will last and be held in their own hearts for good. (Not goods!)
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Joy Comes In The Morning
Mindful Santa..it’s almost too obvious but I’ve never thought of it this way. Thank you for this, Chris. This is such a teachable season, isn’t it? I know year round really is, but I’m feeling this a lot today.
Tamara recently posted..Three Truths, Two Lies: The Raging College Edition.
We can use really anything to teach our kids about the values we strive to uphold in our homes… Santa is definitely an important one to make sure we influence our children to understand more than just what he exudes-(stuff)- but rather what he brings- (Joy)
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Joy Comes In The Morning
I love this perspective, Chris! We tend not to hype up the Santa thing too much because we don’t want our kids to think he can provide whatever they want. In our house, Santa brings simple stocking stuffers and a gift for each boy (usually a Hess truck). They ask us for the big stuff and we discuss why they want certain items. They actually don’t ask too much for Christmas because they know they already have so much. We’ll see if it lasts into the teen years!
another jennifer recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: LL Bean Holiday Lights
My sister was smart like you- Santa only brings one gift to her kids. Man, I wish I started that trend early on! Us parents over here- get slack because we don’t give much because SANTA gives most of the gifts! There is a secret part of me that can’t WAIT for them to find out, so I can take all the credit! 😉
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Joy Comes In The Morning
Yes, yes, yes! Just this week I wrote about spending less at Christmas to find more joy, because it’s not about the stuff.
You have given your children a valuable gift that will serve them their whole lives. Helping them to understand the value of money, character, sacrifice and hard work is truly a wonderful thing!
Kim recently posted..Spending less at Christmas yields more joy
Oh thank you so much Kim!!! I do hope they really continue to grow in these areas as they get older too. I refuse to allow their hearts to grow greedy and not take responsibility for giving and serving and sacrifice. I pray it all sticks!!
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Joy Comes In The Morning
I love this. The idea of Santa being mindful is a great one. It’s easy for kids to start thinking of Santa as a figure of infinite possibility but he, too, must have his limits.
Tricia recently posted..Go for joy
Yep. I get why kids think he can give endlessly- he’s magical! But we can wrap our values around his “greatness’ anyway we can. I choose to do it this way… 🙂
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Joy Comes In The Morning
Teaching them discernment is a much more valuable gift than buying your kids the newest gadgets. Making them think long term about what they purchase today, the impact of the spending as well as the shelf life of the toy or a thing? That’s a life skill that everyone can value from. My kids have learned to delay gratification in a big way this year – due to circumstance. But in the big picture, it will serve them well and make material abundance that much sweeter – when I can provide it for them. Well said, Chris!
Ilene recently posted..The Bridge
Your kids will learn so much by not getting everything they want! As will mine- and the power of discernment and money management will leave a lasting impact through out their lives- I hope we can imprint that on their hearts!! Those life skills can either set your life in one direction… or the other.
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Joy Comes In The Morning
Very well stated! Great post!
Little Miss Wordy recently posted..Paid in Full – Merry Christmas
Thanks so much Leah!! 🙂
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Joy Comes In The Morning
Chris – this is fabulous. I struggle with the kids using Santa as an ATM machine and/or genie in the bottle. We spend so much of the year working on stewardship with our kids and I don’t want that undone by Christmas.
Thanks for sharing.
HappyMomSusan recently posted..My son is STILL a picky eater – even with soup.
Santa is understood as an endless well of gifts- magical to boot! It’s so hard to fight that end of the spectrum, isn’t it? But we must, in order to preserve our values. 🙂
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Joy Comes In The Morning
Character counts…and so does knowing the value of hard work and the true value of sacrifice. We have so many teachable moments with our kids, and most of them are taught through our silence and by our kids watching our lives. Our actions speak so much louder than our words…We need to make sure the 2 line up and that the lessons stick. Great advice, Chris!
Julie Moore recently posted..The Thanksgiving Feast and Festivities Link-Up ~ Final Day
Thanks so much Julie!!! I always love your comments as they are so wise and add to my perspective every time!! We DO have so many teachable moments with our kids during this season- and Santa can be a positive source for that as well! I can only imagine how well you do this!! XO
Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Joy Comes In The Morning