You might have been expecting to read more “about me.”
But actually I want to tell you more about Him. About God.
You can learn more about me and not be changed.
But when you truly know Him — not just about Him, but truly know HIs heart — you will never be the same.
GOD is so amazing.
That is why I want to talk about Him first. Actually, He is all I could talk about. All the time.
It wasn’t always this way for me. I thought and talked about myself a lot. After 20 years of chronic pain and illness, raising a child with a chronic illness and facing tremendous challenges in my personal and family life, I had become incredibly melinda-focused.
i thought if I just tried harder, worked harder, found the “right” formula, the right “expert,” I could heal myself and heal my family. Instead, everything steadily fell apart, including my mind and body.
Finally, I came to the end of myself and my efforts. It wasn’t pretty. I had no choice but to turn to GOD like I had never done before.
I had tried everything else. HE was my only hope.
Slowly, GOD began a transformation process in me that is changing everything in my world — spiritually, physically and mentally.
I spent so many years focused on me because I didn’t know the real Him.
Decades of serving a false god, one who demanded performance. A “lightning bolt” god who I doggedly served but feared, perhaps more than i loved.
In 2017, GOD began to give me eyes to see HIM for who HE really is. He began to softly say, “Follow ME. The REAL ME. My yoke is easy. My burden is light.”
I never believed that before. I was weighed down by heavy expectations — mine, not HIS.
And then, as i clung to my ONLY HOPE, HE gradually, step by step, broke the yoke. He slowly and lovingly showed me how walk away from the weight of performance and people’s approval. Step by step, I made the choice to obey HIS gentle call to live another way.
As I did the shackles began to fall. One by one.
He began to gradually heal my spiritual blindness. He is giving me new spiritual eyes to see the real HIM. A God of grace and mercy and compassion. A God who is not only in everything, but who IS Everything!
But GOD is so practical. HE also gave me new physical eyes. He impressed upon me that it would be “two steps.” First, He was going to free me of reading glasses. Then my regular vision.
GOD keeps HIS promises. i am seeing spiritually and physically. The morning after my “revelation” i woke up and did. not. need. reading. glasses.
i have not used them since.
i await the second phase of this promise of vision. But I’ve learned to wait patiently. Because over these past 20 years of suffering, HE has revealed HIMSELF to me in the wait. The sweet GOD i am just getting to know — my DADDY — has patiently shown me who HE really is.
The wait that I thought would never end was worth it. Because meeting and experiencing the REAL GOD is worth any pain or obstacle HE has to allow to draw us to HIM.
My physical sight is a new promise. Three years ago, HE made me a promise of physical healing, spoken through a godly woman and confirmed over and over again through various circumstances and people in my life.
Today, the old promise of physical healing is being fulfilled, but it’s a journey, not a moment. He reveals Himself — His love, His comfort, His character — through the sometimes agonizingly slow process of healing my mind, heart, and body.
But ailment by ailment, i’m being healed. HE is making a whole new me.
i now know how the people Jesus healed in the Bible must have felt. They could not wait to run and tell as many people as they could what JESUS had done for them.
i’m sure some people thought they were crazy. You may think I’m crazy.
You’d be right. i am crazy with joy. Crazy with gratitude.
After 20 years of chronic pain and illness, mental anxiety and spiritual blindness, i am being set free!
Like a liberated prisoner —long held in chains — I feel overwhelming love and gratitude for the ONE who opened my cell. i want to tell everyone about the new life i’ve been given.
i am a new creation.
When you seek the Real God, the One i am now serving, you won’t ever be able to get enough.
My joy began before my healing, as i began to know this REAL GOD. But now it is overflowing.
I have been made new. And HE’s not done yet. The spiritual and physical transformation is flowing out through my family. HE promised it would. And HE hasn’t broken a promise yet.
Will you follow Him? You will never be the same. He will ruin you in the best possible way.
The old you will die, but the new person HE remakes you into will never want to get off your face in gratitude to HIM.
I am like the woman with the issue of bleeding in Matthew, who spent thousands of dollars and never left better, but only worse off after visiting countless doctors and trying countless remedies. I have been reaching for the hem of HIS robe for years, decades.
But it wasn’t the real GOD I was reaching for. It was a false version of HIM.
When I began to seek the real GOD and reach for the power of the real GOD, He began to heal me in every way possible.
But here’s the shocker: The physical healing is wonderful, but it isn’t the sweetest part. In fact, if I had only received spiritual healing, I would still have more than I could possibly dream of.
The journey with my Father, my Savior, my Holy Spirit has left me in a state of joy and humble gratitude that I cannot adequately put into words.
A writer without adequate words. That is what the Real God does — leaves you in speechless awe.
I know many who know the real GOD and are not being healed physically. I don’t pretend to understand all His ways. I don’t completely understand why He heals some this side of heaven and some on the other side.
All i know is that peace is possible with or without physical healing. Because i’ve experienced it.
My peace and joy has grown, not from the healing, but from an increasing understanding of the love and grace of the Healer.
i’ll leave you with the only words i can think of: HE is Everything. And when you wholeheartedly follow EVERYTHING, nothing will ever be the same.
One step at a time, HE will show you the way.