Let me tell you a bit about myself:
I trust God. The next minute, I feel my heart flooded with anxiety about the present, the future and all the “what ifs.”
I look like I have it altogether. In reality, I carry invisible struggles and hurts — unresolved pain and unanswered prayers that have challenged my belief in a good and loving God.
I want His plan for me more than anything. Then, moments later, I find myself foolishly and recklessly taking matters into my own hands.
In other words, I’m complicated. And probably a whole lot like you.
Over the past couple of years, God has been doing new things in my mind and heart. He’s challenged me to trust Him. Really trust Him. More than conventional wisdom. More than what my circumstances tell me. More than my emotions. More than my finances. More than what the “experts” say.
Can all those things be valuable and, in some cases, even necessary? Of course. But you and I run into trouble when we trust those things to bring us lasting security and contentment.
They can’t. They weren’t designed for it.
When we search for significance and security in what we can see and feel, we miss out on the beautiful sweetness and adventure of an unknown path led by an invisible, but very real, God.
A God who is good. A God who sent His Son to die a horrible death for me is good.
That is what I have learned in spite of twenty years of chronic pain. In spite of the heartbreaking journey of raising a child with two life-threatening illnesses: cystic fibrosis and CF-related diabetes. As I’ve battled a very, long difficult stretch in my marriage. As I’ve struggled with a strong-willed child who stretched me at times to my very limits.
My journey may often not resemble what I had planned or what makes me feel secure. Sometimes every fiber of my being wants to crumble in anxiety.
But I’m learning to choose to trust Him. One step at a time.
And step by step, He’s blessing me with a new revelation of who He is, healing my mind and heart and freeing me from my fears.
I say, “I want to know the destination.”
Jesus says, “Trust Me step by step.”
I say, “I want You to change my circumstances.”
Jesus says, “Allow Me to change your heart.”
I say, “I want to perform, plan and control.”
Jesus says, “Rest in Me.”
I’m finding these to be hard, but beautifully freeing truths as we walk this life, friends.
I hope you’ll join me on the journey.
A bit about my professional life:
I’m a graduate of Taylor University in Indiana with a degree in Mass Communications. I am also a Certified Professional Life Coach. I received my training from the Christian Coach Institute and the Institute of Life Coach Training, both accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF), the coaching industry’s gold standard credentialing body.
I spent most of my career as a freelance writer for healthcare companies. In my mid-20s, God began to spark in my heart a desire to write for and minister to women.
About 20 years ago, I began leading weekly women’s Bible studies. I’m currently my church’s Women’s Director. I lead studies, retreats, plan events and conferences and encourage women and ministry leaders to go deeper in their relationship with Jesus.
I also coach women to overcome barriers in all seasons and struggles of life. Areas of specialty include relationships, ministry, leadership, writing/speaking and spiritual life.
For three-and-a-half years, I co-led an online blog and ministry called Mothering From Scratch. The blog gave birth to my first book, co-authored with Kathy Helgemo, Mothering from Scratch: Finding the Best Parenting Style for Your Family.
My latest book, Invisible Wounds: Hope While You’re Hurting, chronicles my chronic illness journey — mine and my son’s — and the deep hurts, questions and wrestling with God that I’ve experienced — how God has revealed Himself to me in the midst of it.
My work has appeared in Focus on the Family’s Focus on Your Child newsletters, Clubhouse, In Touch, CBN.com, Lifeway’s Journey devotional magazine for women. My work has also appeared on The Mighty, Mom Babble, Mamapedia, Bonbon Break and For Every Mom.
A bit about my family life:
This may look like the perfect photo, but there’s a lot of messiness behind those smiles. A lot of hard-won closeness. Flawed people who keep battling to love each other well.
My husband, Mike, is a high school teacher and track coach. He also leads the Fellowship of Christian Athletes at his school.
I’m mom to Micah, my strapping teenage son, and Molly, my beautiful and entertaining college-age daughter.
God has used these incredible people in my life to humble me, inspire me and draw me closer to Him. I am so grateful for and am so in love with each of them.
